Debunking Myths About London

Today was a pretty standard day, and in an effort to keep you informed about things that are going on in my life (and in my head) I am going to try out a new format in which I will explain about the general experience of London and Europe moreso than the specific day to day things. I'm going to start by clarifying common misconceived thoughts that I used to have about London and we'll see where this ends up.

Myth #1: "Everyone in London has British accents! Maybe I will have a British accent!!"

Perhaps the most startling thing about getting here was the fact that not everyone has British accents. Obviously, everyone from Great Britain has a British accent, but there are tons and tons of foreigners and lots of hybrid accents which are legitimately impossible to understand. Sometimes I pretend that I understand what people say even when I don't, because I'd rather not sound like an obnoxious American. This leads to obvious problems. Also, I do not have a British accent [yet...still keeping fingers crossed]. This is supremely unfortunate because being here has really highlighted how obnoxious my Chicago accent is and I am consistently tempted to speak in a fake accent. I resist, but I do always say "sorry" after bumping into someone in a British accent, so they think I am just an obnoxious person, and not an obnoxious American. There is a method to my madness.

Another thing I had seriously underestimated is how differently Americans speak English. I had expected some new slang terms, but there are a real lot of differences and I think I've picked up on that a bit just by doing some writing for work and whatnot. I also try not to say "like" as much because I want to not sound like an asshole (somewhere, my mother is kvelling).

Myth #2: It always rains in London, and I am going to have a serious case of Seasonal Affective Disorder


I am one of those people who last year considered getting one of those therapy lights for my room because I was consistently depressed during the winter. Here, though, it really doesn't bother me that it is always cloudy because the clouds and the rain don't really inhibit anything. I won't lie that I was thrilled when there was sun peeking through my window for three out of the past four mornings when I woke up, but when there were clouds today I was kind of happy too. In a way, I had missed them. Also, the coldest it's been is probably the warmest it gets in Madison so I absolutely cannot complain about the weather.

Myth #3: London men dress the same as American men


This is absolutely and wholeheartedly false. Every man here dresses in clothes that would be considered moderately to extremely flamboyant by American standards. Personally, I find this admirable.

Half-Myth #4: London is REALLY EXPENSIVE


I will call this a half-myth because London itself is not very expensive, meaning that things do not cost very many pounds. The issue is that pounds are worth a lot of dollars. So even though its not uncommon to get a decent dinner for 10 pounds, it is still 16 dollars. On the plus side, I am continuing to be moderately good at math.

Half-Myth #5: London smells like soup in the absolute most peculiar way


This gets half-myth status because I never once thought about London smelling like soup, but every so often I will get random whiffs of soup walking around the streets, and it is consistent enough that I felt that it was worth mentioning.

Myth #6: London is a huge fucking city and is going to be impossible to navigate and also very dangerous.


Literally, this city is idiot-proof. The tube is so easy, there are super-clear signs pointing you in the direction of all major landmarks..fuck, it tells you which way to look before crossing the street at every intersection! The only possible downside is that the street signs are randomly placed and sometimes non-existent. But seriously,  if you can't figure out London, you're pretty screwed for all cities ever. Also, the cops here (called Bobbies) don't even have guns. This means that the police here do not find a high enough level of violence to carry around firearms. They carry MACE. The stuff that girls are encouraged to carry when they're walking alone at night is the strongest weapon (with the exception of a baton) that the police here have. This inspires confidence that I will not get shot here in London. Hopefully I didn't just jinx myself.


These are all of the fake myths that I can think of, I hope this wasn't excruciating to read, I just felt like I had to change it up a little bit. More tomorrow...or maybe the next day ;) xx